I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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