hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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