I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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