hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
