It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
