Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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