but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
