Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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