Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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