I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Terrible idea I love it
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
