The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
