u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
nutella sex= disaster
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just want to make out with him forever
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Sorry about my life...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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