but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
