what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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