did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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