I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
