Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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