oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
