Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
