now i know why i became what i already was.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So squirting runs in the family.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Randomize
