Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
