I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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