better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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