she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
