they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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