You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
