im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
