I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
