walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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