okay pat passed out under dana's car
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
