Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
