i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
