You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize