no. you can't hotbox the world.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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