I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
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woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
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When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
They have beer where we have blood.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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