she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
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he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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