The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
