Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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