i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
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You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
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I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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