meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
