I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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