I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Four minutes until I can fart!
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
