We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
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any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
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It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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