i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
