I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
This house was built for laser tag.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
