listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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