dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
