You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
