new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Two words: nipple clamps
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