We won't sleep together?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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