fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
