why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
