Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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