Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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