I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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