And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
