You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
