I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
