i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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