why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
