Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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